[Symptom Free] - Back To School Tips: Myths That Somehow Keep On Going

Reflections and lessons from a senior in high school thinking
about what to do in the world:

Grades Don't Really Matter (The Way We Think They Do)
The Illusion (And Sometimes Deception) Of School
Taking More Chances (& Learning From Them)
Focusing On What Counts (Not What Should Count)

Let's take a closer look at each one of these:

Grades Don't Really Matter
(The Way We Think)

For many parents, and children, there is a great legend around doing well in school. I was raised with this ethic, and so were many of my peers. The thought is that if you do well in school, you will get into a good college, and eventually land a good job.

But this just is NOT a reality anymore.

Good grades do NOT translate to or guarantee success in life.

What To Do Instead:

Help your child focus more on learning - understanding concepts. Many of us believe or inspire our children to land prestigious jobs. But let me tell you something - there are plumbers and mechanics who make more money an hour, than some doctors.

Help your child follow their heart and their passion.

The Illusion Of School

For the record: I am NOT bashing schools or teachers in anyway. They are of CRITICAL importance for shaping the youth of America.

What I am suggesting however is shifting what we focus on, and how we focus on it. As a student, I always struggled with being told "We are preparing you for the real world."

Now being in the real world, the lessons of turning things in on time, and not granting extensions are a total reversal of everything I was taught. It is important to respect deadlines and to learn about managing time, but the real world is a lot more flexible than we lead our children to believe.

Everything is about accomplishment, balance, and being done in moderation. Inspire children to do their best... Inspire children to be passionate in what they do... But most of all, help them understand that what works in school...might just NOT work in the real world.

Taking More Chances &
Learning From Them

When things come naturally or when we focus on grades (and not the lessons), we risk missing opportunity. As a student who achieved high grades, I was always challenging myself to do better and to be at the top of my class. But because I did well, and rarely ever failed or struggled, I never learned to take chances.

I was always told to learn from my mistakes, but never understood what that truly meant.

Let children struggle a little, and then when you help them, give them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Don't come down hard on them... Instead, connect with them on a personal level. Show them how to learn from their mistakes.

Let them know it is okay to struggle. Arm them with the opportunity to take chances, and learn from their mistakes.

Focus On What Really Counts

Maybe it's just me, but so many children who come in to my office are in trouble for not getting good grades, or for not following rules. Then there are the ones who can't keep their rooms clean.

I can't make decisions for you. And I won't pretend to tell you how to live your life.

Instead, I will try and inspire you to focus on what really counts, and not what should count. For example, don't do something just because that's the way it is "supposed" to be. Instead, do what really happens.

I always remember being taught that "you should not fidget in an interview," but how often is the interviewer fidgeting with a pen? Tapping on a desk? Rocking his or her foot back and forth?

And what about eye contact? We are taught to make eye contact, but is it possible that sometimes we go overboard?

Maybe someone doesn't maintain good eye contact because they are scared... Or maybe it's because they don't feel good about themselves.

As a child and parent coach, I want to help my clients see what counts and what makes a difference. I won't focus on what should be... and what ought to be... Let's help one another focus on what is and what will become!