[Symptom Free] - Accentuate The Positive Each And Every Single Day

Volume I, Issue 22

August 28th, 2008

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What an August it has been for sure! Depending upon where you are (in the US anyway), kids are back to school or will be in a few short days. The "unofficial" closing of summer takes place this weekend as families will make their last big travel rush on the roads.

My family and I experienced a taste of this "road rush" this past weekend while attempting to visit Hampton Beach, in Hampton, New Hampshire. We were camping with my in-laws, when my wife thought it would be a great time to head on over to the beach for Blink's fry doe. Apparently, this is some pretty serious fried dough - too many toppings and varieties to even mention.

Little did we know how insanely crowded the "strip" would be. There wasn't an inch of breathing room, and with all the traffic, we decided to skip it and head back to the privacy of our campsite. I suppose it also helped that both of our kids fell asleep on the ride over.

We might not have gotten our friend dough, but the weekend was a success. Dylan enjoyed (repeatedly) feeding the ducks every morning...and mid-morning, and afternoon... Gavin, who is now almost 1 y/o, was into everything. There was no stopping this little explorer.

But perhaps the highlight of the weekend (and there were many), was taking Dylan out kayaking with me. She sat on my lap the whole time, and even made a tremendous effort paddling "all by myself." I was really proud of my daughter.

The Month Ahead...

As September rolls in, there are a lot of great things happening and to come. Be sure to get your questions in now for the up and coming Ask Dr. Cerulli teleseminar. We are scheduled to do a live Q&A call on Tuesday evening, September 2nd. Details will go out to those who register!

Also, be sure to check out your opportunity to attend the 1st Annual Virtual ADHD Conference. Hear from a lineup of speakers that rival national conferences: http://www.thetruthbehindadhd.com/conference all from the comforts of your own home.

"You've Got To Accentuate The Positive. Eliminate The Negative.
Latch On To The Affirmative. Don't Mess With Mr. In-Between"
~Lyrics by Al Jarreau

I never intended to be quoting these lyrics, but when I found them online (and remembered this song), I had to include them. It just sums up everything I want to share with you today in this featured article.

This week I was working with a family of a young boy who is reportedly struggling with school and behavior because of his "alleged" ADHD symptoms. Why alleged? Well, this came up because his parents have received conflicting information.

The end result: Knowing whether or not it is ADHD is just the beginning. It doesn't solve anything... It can provide understanding. But there is still so much more we need to focus on. And so much more of is beyond ADHD alone.

Anyway, as I was sitting with this family, we were discussing what goals our coaching would focus on. As is often the case, there were any number of goals to be working on. Honestly, there were just too many goals to focus on. As I was keeping notes, I quickly got a clear understanding as to why this family felt so overwhelmed by what was happening.

It wasn't just about ADHD... It was about life. Their goals went so much more beyond what their son was experiencing, but it certainly contributed to and clouded their overall experience and ability to enjoy life.

Finding The Positives

One thing that strikes me the most about children who struggle in school - even for those without an ADHD diagnosis - is that they hear a tremendous amount of negativity throughout the day. It can start with a difficult morning and trying to get ready for the day, continues on the bus, and eventually steamrolls right over the child's day.

With so much negative in our lives, it is hard for anyone to pick themselves up. And this is particularly true for children. When all we hear is "negative... negative... negative...," it's far too easy to believe all the negative.

And at the same time, we often overlook (without intent) all the wonderful things our children are doing and getting right.

The Culprit:

In today's crazy, messed-up busy world, we often fail to realize how important our daily activities are. We often overlook just how powerful and how positive of an experience it is when our children get up, get dressed, and are ready for the day without prompting. It's easily overlooked because it's what we expect.

If there is one "takeaway" I can leave you with today, it's the importance of recognizing every single positive our child displays. This is true regardless of whether or not the behavior is the result of an expected task or duty. Yes, our children must do their homework... It's expected of them. And if we are there to remind them all the times they don't finish it, shouldn't we be there to applaud them and congratulate the times they finish it (even if it is everyday).

And for the record, I am NOT immune to this myself.