[Symptom Free] - 4 Steps To Lasting Change You Can Live With

The concept here is very simple. It's the execution and follow-through that is the hardest.

What we are talking about today is how to make lasting changes in your life. So many of my personal clients, especially the parents of children, ask me all the time - "What it will take to help my child change?"

And my answer is always the same - regardless of situation, circumstance, age, gender, or socioeconomic status. My answers don't disciminate (my poor attempt at humor). But I am also being very serious.

If you want to change your life or change a child's life, you need to completely unlearn almost everyhing you have been taught through schools and society. You need to "think more outside the box" than you thought possible.

**And let me for a moment just share than when I say, "YOU," I am really talking about you, me, and everyone else. I am NOT pointing the finger and I am NOT blaming anyone. But I will be honest and tell you - change starts from within. You cannot change anyone else before you change how you exist in the world.**

Having said that, let's get back to what it really takes to make long-lasting change, so you can start living today.

Step 1: Write Down What You Want Change To Look Like

Before you can actually see the change, you have to be crysal clear in your mind about what change will look like. And you need to know just how you will measure that change.

How will you know where you are going if you don't have an end in mind?

This doesn't have to be hard. Just write down what you want the change to be. If you want your child to do better in school - write it down - and get specific about what better means. You need to know exactly what you are working for.

Step 2: Lower Your Expectations - Do It Now

There is nothing wrong with having high hopes and high expectations. But I often find that we have unimaginable, unrealistic expectations from other people. This is problematic because we cannot control other people's actions. We can only control our own actions.

If you don't like the idea of "lowering your expectations," then look at this step as a compromise between what you want, what you think should be, and what you are actually getting as a result.

Step 3: Reflect On Progress (And Celebrate Change)

The next biggest obstacle I often see is that people are not slowing down in life to recognize what has changed. We are often so focused on what is going wrong that we don't even see what is going right!

Life is all about what you choose to see (hence, change your perspective).

When I see children in my office, I don't see what the parents see. I don't see the frustration that you live each and every day. All I see is the tremendous potential and good that every child has to offer.

Step 4: Measure, Tweak, Move On

Change is all about taking action each and every single day. But it's NOT enough to just make change. You need to be certain that the changes you are making actually impact the goals you are working on.

How do you do that?

That's why we wrote down the goals on paper... This way we can look back and figure out what is working, and what is NOT working. (Hence, tweak).

Change is lifelong. You need to work at it every single day until it becomes a natural part of your routine. And remember, people with ADHD need structure, schedules, and routines to build off of. It's how they thrive. (And quite honestly, there is nothing wrong with a little bit of structure).

Outcomes:

The key here is to change your beliefs, to change how you see things, and then you will in fact change the outcomes you receive. Following these steps are really important. But one thing that was implied - that I need to say outright - is that your beliefs drive everything. If you believe change is NOT possible - change will NOT happen.

If you believe that your child is always doing things wrong, that's what you will see all the time (perspective and beliefs together). Children need our support and they need our love. And they need our approval - whether they admit it or not.

The outcomes you see are rooted in what you believe and how you see things happening around you.

What do you choose to see?